October 4th, 2010. Matthew proposed and I said yes with all my heart and soul. He is the man I should have began life's journey with long ago, and even though I made a wrong turn I'm blessed to have the opportunity to begin again at the new intersection of love and forever. On June 5th I will say I do again, but time without reservations.
I believe encore brides want their second wedding to be perfect, all of it! Maybe even more so than other brides because it’s our “re-do.” It’s our second and hopefully for most, our last chance to get it right. Also, encore brides must be careful to keep all matters in good taste. There are just some things an older, second time bride must or mustn’t do that our younger first-timers can. Let’s discuss etiquette.
White, or not?
The predominate thinking today is encore brides may wear white if they so choose. It’s your day, and you should wear what you want. Personally, I think an ivory, beige, or champagne color is more appropriate. It appears more elegant and sophisticated for the encore bride. You want grandma saying how beautiful you look in the dress, not saying aloud “why is she wearing virgin white?” And what about the headpiece? Avoid the veil, and most certainly a blusher veil, which is a symbol of virginity. Choose instead a tiara, flowers, ribbon, or feathers….get creative with accessories for you hair!
Your names, in black and white. Should we announce our engagement in the local paper?
Yes, if you so choose. If having an engagement party wait to announce it in the paper until after the party. Typically an announcement appears two to three months before the wedding. If you, as a couple are paying for the wedding and would like to announce your engagement then go for it. Especially for the older bride with children it seems silly to write: Mr. and Mrs. Smith (parents of the bride) of anywhere, TX announce the engagement of their daughter….etc.
- Instead you may word the announcement: The engagement of Ms. Sarah Grace Smith of Anywhere, Texas to Mr. James Richard Grey of Anywhere, Texas has been announced. Ms. Smith graduated from Texas Tech University and is a market analyst with Cullin and Company. Mr. Grey graduated from the University of Texas and is a graphic designer with Cellio Advertising. A September wedding is planned.
- If you prefer a more informal announcement: Sarah Grace Smith and James Richard Grey are happy to announce their engagement. A September wedding is planned.
Last word: in the age of social networking sites a newspaper announcement is not necessary, but it’s still fun to see your name and photo in print. It’s your time to shine, embrace the spotlight!
It’s raining toasters. My friend wants to throw a bridal shower for me. Is that alright?
Yes, if you live in a different town, or have different friends, or did not have one the first time around. As long as your last shower was before Wedding Crashers became your favorite movie, you should be ok. It’s just a nice way for friends and family to honor your new beginning. And if a bridal shower seems too formal, then have a couples shower. If you have enough stuff, register for a honeymoon. There are some great sites out there.
Should I wear a condom veil?
No, but most definitely have a bachelorette party! I’m all about having a good time with friends, and what better an excuse than celebrating your new “married filing jointly” status. Maybe leave the condom veil for younger, first time brides, (still a bit tacky) and exchange for a palm wand. Spankins anyone? Kidding but seriously; we are encore brides, not nuns! Have a ball, because after all, it’s the last time you will have a bachelorette party.
Well, that is enough etiquette for one day. We’ll revisit this discussion at a later date, and until then….happy planning.
Truly, Cinderella
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